China Travel Story
The goods were mailed to me via post. I can’t say much more than that but what I can tell you is that the man who sold it to me is said to be dead: executed by the Chinese government. He was a big-time dealer around this city we were in and had a whole mail operation going by land. But with big rewards come even bigger risks and the dude just flew too close to the sun.
I’ve had my fair share of trips but sweet baby Jesus in a tuxedo, I’d never hit those heights before. The horror started when the three of us were in the elevator going up to the roof of my apartment building which was roughly around thirty-two floors. We started on the second floor but somewhere around the fifth or sixth floor, a middle-aged couple got on.
I looked over at the couple
and did what I thought was a friendly smile, but who really knows what the hell I did with my face because it freighted them terribly. The woman grabbed her purse and quickly curled it up into her chest and the guy pulled her close with his arms wrapped around her in a kind of protective stance. The woman started smashing the ‘open’ button hysterically looking back and forth between the elevator doors and me. When the doors opened somewhere around the fourteenth floor, they popped out of there like little pinballs.
I was losing my grip on reality pretty quickly and now there was serious negative energy just slithering throughout my thoughts. We had made it to the roof, and no one spoke about the people in the elevator. It made me ponder whether or not it actually even happened or there was some kind of interdimensional slip that I unknowingly passed through. They both walked to separate corners of the roof and I walked directly to the middle. The city was glowing like an old arcade game and when I looked up, I could see a giant pink dome around the earth. The giant transparent screen was shooting signals back and forth across it like a computerized crystal ball and it glowed like God above me over the radiant Chinese city.
At this point
my whole brain chemistry was fucked. For some time, I believed that I was the kingpin of a sex trafficking organization and the Chinese girl was one of the victims. That all stemmed just from me seeing her crouch down in a shadow. We eventually went back downstairs to my apartment where I lost my sanity completely.
Until sunrise, I paced back and forth in my living room telling the two of them what I thought were these strange God-like messages coming from a blue ball and the answer to everything was somehow a triangle. With each story that I spoke, the Canadian guy’s body would mutate into the character of the story whether it be a Native American shaman or a transvestite hooker with a huge dick swinging out from the bottom of his skirt.
I thought it was innocent enough but the next morning they told me I was sounding like Charles Manson trying to start some kind of cult that made no sense. Also, I had twenty thousand steps on my sports watch which means I must have been pacing for hours and hours just annoying and ruining everybody’s trip. I also flew too close to the sun that night.
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If you want to read another wild China Travel Story, check out The Dinner Party. You can read the raucous story of two drunken English dinner guests. They completely f***ing torpedo a business dinner in China by puking on the boss. Everybody loves a good business dinner with a messy ending.
If you want to find some good travel blogs for China, check here.
China Travel Story